Wagon Wheel

This image represents the relationship of how everything in your life is connected to your self-esteem. Everything. How you manage each segment is determined by how intact your self-esteem is cracked, the wheel will wobble; you will not trust your own instincts, you will compromise your respect, you will live in fear of the unknown, allowing the monster in your closet to define your reality.

As I mentioned in my last newsletter, the road to getting published is paved with potholes of varying depths - and some are easier to climb out than others. So many issues have gotten churned up and forced me to be accountable and vulnerable in ways I could never have articulated a year ago or even 3 months ago. What I believe to be true is this: what ever is in front of me is the ‘lesson of the day’. Whether to test the amount of resolve I have, or to measure how much more I can let go of my expectations and needs. It’s all part of the bigger picture called “The Cha-Cha of Healing”…two steps ahead, one step back.

Last month, sometime after the 15th, I felt as if I had finally mastered the art of living fearlessly - by letting go of trying to define and control approaching events, that were moving day by day like a slow moving Tsunami. I had to practice accepting that I might drown if I was not able to get to higher ground fast enough. The only way to manage the future was by letting go and allowing the water to carry me, floating on my back supported only by trust and belief that everything has a way of working out, it just does.

Here it is the 19th of a new month and that pesky fear has slowly crept back into my psyche. I check my ‘inventory’ of the milestones I have accomplished in the last four years to find the humor and compassion I need again in this moment. These tools provide the perspective to manage my fear that wells up – the fear that simultaneously needs to be held gently and kept away from the red zone of a meltdown.

I have gained the courage to be vulnerable and understand the purposefulness of it, but gee whiz, it hurts like the dickens and I can’t see through the tears of fear in those moments. That is a very deep pothole.

On the other hand, the Book Journey has potholes that are not painful. They just force me to define myself, my work, and my value in language that is new to me. This is decision time…what should the cover look like, who will be served by this book, who is my ideal reader, what are my deliverables, who am I not, how will this relate to my website…and the list goes on.

In my June newsletter, I talked about ‘getting control’ being the keyword to what the Financial Whisperer accomplishes - which is true for my interpersonal sessions. But, now I need to be more expansive in how I accomplish that.

How we reach the end goal of control is by gaining self-awareness, and we accomplish that by learning an emotional vocabulary, or language that defines feelings that we have. The myriad of scattered feelings need to be ‘organized’ and compartmentalized in a way that one sees the ‘emotional logic’. This creates predictability and consistency of behaviors, which, as we gain self-trust, gives us permission to make different choices. Those new choices create milestones on our road to healing.

“Take that left” for a change and see how much self-respect you will experience within yourself. When you constantly ask yourself: “Does this serve me? Does this make me happy? Does this action garnish self-respect? When you make new choices, you will feel a sense of empowerment you have never had before, and will never surrender again.

In attempting to define who the ideal reader is for me, I look at the commonality all of my clients have had:

1. Yearning for their missing link. [they don’t articulate that in the beginning]
2. Wanting acceptance, validation, and clarity.
3. Wiling to take the tools I give them and make themselves accountable for those assignments.
4. Wanting to learn how to trust the outside world [again, they don’t articulate this in the beginning]
5. Speed…they don’t want to make a long-term commitment to therapy. They want answers now.
6. Goals that reflect stability, a sense of belonging, connections.
7. Many are scared and fear they will go over the edge.

What are my deliverables?

1. Teaching emotional literacy
2. Providing a comfortable space in which someone can discuss the ‘messy parts’ of their lives.
3. Simple homework assignments that create small manageable goals from which we get to see the world of their inner five-year-old.
4. Confirming validation that what happened when they were very young was never their fault.
5. Accomplishing self-acceptance, and healing within 6-8 months.
6. 6. Demonstrating tools that enable one to actually make new choices that serve them better.

What is the ‘lesson of the day’ for me…now?

I hear the distant bells toll; the Tsunami has started its approach.I have my canteen of fresh water, my sturdy shoes, small flashlight that is waterproof, charged cell phone w/ adapter, life preserver, protein bars and my favorite hat… I am as ready as I can be…

Next month I will tell you how I fared…are all of the lessons I have taught everyone else about letting go going to save me?

Sessions:
A 20 week journey that looks at your life in three time zones: the present (your current choices and behavior) past (where your life started to split and become one of adaptation rather than remain authentic) and future (getting tools to prevent the further erosion of your true self).

The sessions revolve around very specific topics that reflect those time zones. For example: Your current state of being covers isolation, depression, loneliness and helplessness. When we look at your past, we will discuss shame, abandonment, anger, and fear. When we examine how those past feelings show up in your behaviors today as metaphors and symbols, we will discuss manipulation, perfection, chaos, and procrastination.
Then, getting the tools to control your future shows up in the category of boundaries, compassion, patience and permission.

These sessions are designed to be the last ‘dance’ for you…the ultimate answer as to WHY you do what you do, and how to permanently change those behaviors that no longer serve you…

These sessions are $150/hr, paid monthly for four sessions. To arrange for your free consultation, send me an e-mail @: Pegi@thefinancialwhisperer.com and we will find a suitable time. Put in the subject line: Fin/Whisp consultation