I have a coaching practice in L.A. where most of my clients are mothers. They usually come to me to sort out their stressful financial issues…only to discover it’s really not about the money. Mothers’ lives are more complicated than non-moms because having children automatically brings one into judgment about their ability and competence to be a Good Mother.
I help my clients understand the difference in being the PERFECT mother..versus being the Good Enough Mother.
The PERFECT mother holds herself on such an impossibly short leash that she in fact does more harm than good.
The Good Enough Mother admits she is flawed. Admits she makes mistakes with her children, admits to having her own needs that are independent of her children’s. She is real with her kids, she is direct and non-manipulative, she tells the truth. She keeps her word. Kids copy everything you do, good and bad.
A mother’s ‘job’ is to ground her children, build their esteem with truths, and create emotional intimacy based upon trust. If a mother lacks these herself, she cannot teach it…She needs to gain her own sense of self, her own competence, her own self-respect.
Be a good model, get a great model.
It’s not so much the quick sound bites of affirmations in the beginning, it is about understanding the reality of being a good, solid parent raising her children with self-awareness, respect, and kindness.
Mothers need permission to have boundaries. Boundaries create respect and give sanity to the parent.
Once a mother can access and replicate those values, affirmations then have something to stand on.