• Home

  • Bio

  • Coaching

  • Book

  • Media

  • Blog

  • Contact

  • Archive Blogs

    The

    Financial Whisperer

    ®
    Pegi Burdick

    Whoops! Your needs are showing...

    March 22, 2017

    |

    Pegi Burdick

     

    Many weeks ago, I came across my baby book. My mother had kept notes about me until I was four. She commented that I started dancing when I was three and had a good sense of rhythm and was very kind to our new tri-color puppy, Chips. When I was four, she commented again about how attentive and remarkably nurturing I was to him at such an early age.


    I am now 68 and Chips is long gone. I have held the mantle of nurturing all these years, sometimes to my own determent; loaning $250K to a business partner with the disguised hope that she would finally accept me. Or, rescuing so many dogs and cats in my house, that I developed asthma. Or, even always putting my needs second so that the person or animal in front of me would be intact. 

     

    Behind me, there is a cacophony of sounds that I both want to silence and celebrate for my “goodness”; but are those voices pure and genuinely coming from my heart? Or, is there a need that has operated compulsively all these years in secret?


    I have played a parlor game at parties over the years and in my coaching program, in which I ask:

     

    “How would you answer if you were to be awakened

    at 3 am and asked what is your #1 skill?"

     

    For me, it was always nurturing, hands down.

     

    It's always been a great question, enlisting interesting answers that then birthed conversations that were even more introspective. 


    But here's the thing: I never felt “clean”; instead of the action bringing a sense of calmness and ease, it left me feeling that there was still unfinished “stuff”. Like closing a door that still felt ajar as if the clasp did not click into place. 


    The pull has been so consistent that I finally succumbed to labeling it as an addiction; compulsive behavior that is harmful. I could not come to terms with my behaviors; it was always all or nothing. I was always saving someone or living with haunting images of my failure.


    That understanding of those behaviors has eluded me my entire life...Until today.


    I live in a world of truths, as painful as they can be at times. For me, it's the only game in town; the truth has set me free, it has been emotionally expensive resulting in frugal behaviors, but that is the point; don't waste emotions attempting to capture the very thing you need to let go of. 


    We have to let go of the illusion that we have allowed to define us all these years, inconvenient as that can be to our claimed identity. Our needs drive our choices. It's really about seeing the nugget of truth within a dark, heavy fog, where clarity is elusive by choice. 


    The design is about choice; do I continue to carry the illusion or put the work into releasing it?

     

    I choose the later, difficult as it is at times. 


    But, as I teach others, as we heal in one area, a domino effect is created that then impacts other areas and brings more clarity, not unlike the Redcoats from the Revolutionary War; as one moved forward, the others moved in unison. 

     

    My favorite questions have always been:
    Who has control? 
    The needs or you? 
    How do you get control?

     

    Please reload

    Featured Posts

    "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"

    December 8, 2016

    Are you dating a financial disaster?

    April 20, 2017

    1/2
    Please reload

    Recent Posts

    Surviving The Holiday Stress, Pt. 2

    December 5, 2017

    Surviving The Holiday Stress, Pt. 1

    November 21, 2017

    Are Your Finances as Fabulous as Your Shoes?

    August 3, 2017

    How to regain control of your debt

    July 27, 2017

    Don't Let Debt Define Who You Are

    July 20, 2017

    5 Steps to Making Your Voice Heard

    July 13, 2017

    Perfection - The Journey Without a Destination

    July 5, 2017

    Bonding Is the Driving Force Behind All Decisions

    June 28, 2017

    Can You Give Your Kids Too Much Information About Money?

    June 21, 2017

    Shame can be the portal to intimacy in your relationship

    June 7, 2017

    Please reload

    Search By Tags

    Core Values

    Feeling shameful

    How to deal with anxiety

    Learning to love yourslef

    Life challenges

    Value yourself

    accountability

    advice

    author

    becoming your own

    being vulnerable

    best friend

    childhood

    children

    christmas shopping

    coaching

    control

    debt

    divorce

    divorce, money, men, friendship, respect, isolatio

    emotions

    fear

    finances

    financial advice

    financial coaching

    financial struggles

    forgiveness

    fun

    gift ideas

    gift-giving

    gifts

    grieving

    guilt

    happy

    healing

    holiday shopping

    holiday stress

    how much

    how much to spend

    infidelity

    journey

    kids

    let go

    life

    life coach

    live

    live life

    love

    love yourself

    marriage

    money

    motherhood

    parenthood

    peace

    pegi burdick

    perfection

    power

    prenup

    relationships

    self-awareness

    self-awareness, emotions, love, relationships, fam

    self-confidence

    self-control

    self-improvement

    self-respect

    self-worth

    shame

    stress management

    thefinancialwhisperer

    unfaithful

    women empowerment

    Please reload

    Follow Us
    • Facebook Classic
    • Twitter Classic
    • Vimeo Social Icon
    • LinkedIn Social Icon
    • Pinterest Social Icon

    © The Financial Whisperer® 2018

    All Rights Reserved

    Website Designed by My Perfect Assistant LLC